Please Note: This entry is an archived entry from my previous weblog. No new comments may be posted. Also, as of May 2005, I have left Microsoft. I am still happy to respond to any questions or comments about this article, but as I am no longer on the Visual Studio team, I may not be able to provide any helpful answers.

January 12, 2004

[permalink] Knowledge gaps

An abritrary, unordered list of things people ask me about* when they discover I work at Microsoft, which I won't talk about, don't want to talk about, or (most likely) have no knowledge of:

  • Halo 2
  • Whether Bill still jumps over chairs
  • Bob
  • Why their printer suddenly doesn't work
  • The kernel thread scheduler
  • DCOM
  • How to use Word's Mail Merge feature
  • How to use Excel's PivotTable feature
  • How to use PowerPoint's Slide Transition feature
  • How to use Outlook's Journal feature
  • How to use Visio
  • Halo 2
  • Linux
  • What that one error message means, come on, I know, the one with the buttons and the exclamation point thingy
  • Java
  • Partially-trusted code
  • Do I read Slashdot too, and how does it feel to be an assimilated corporate drone carrying out the evil, subversive plans of a massive, soulless company that is racing towards its own inevitable doom because of the undeniable goodness and purity of the free (as in speech, not as in beer) software movement
  • How much free (as in beer, not as in speech) pop I drink
  • Why there's a little red light under the Microsoft Mouse
  • Whether or not Steve can do the voice of Bender too
  • Internet Explorer
  • Have I heard this one great Microsoft joke yet, it is really very clever, okay stop them if I've heard it
  • Halo 2
  • What kind of food RMS keeps in his refrigerator

(* Some of these may be things that people never actually ask me about)

< Microsoft > Posted at January 12, 2004 04:57 AM
Comments

  1. You should work for an airline, then you become personally responsible for every lost bag or bad airplane experience anyone ever had!

    Comment by: Gordon Weakliem at January 12, 2004 12:33 PM

  2. Hey, Joe...my copy of WMP is acting up... :)

    Comment by: Ken at January 12, 2004 09:04 PM

  3. The red light under the mouse is pretty simple, actually. For the optical mouse to operate, it has to see the surface it is moving across, and it's dark down there, so the light gives the tiny little camera something to look at.

    There are a number of possible reasons why it's red instead of any other color, but I'm willing to bet the leading cause is price. Red LEDs are cheap.

    Comment by: Ken at January 12, 2004 09:13 PM

  4. Ken: Thanks, but that was one of the things in the list I already knew the answer to :)

    Comment by: Joe Bork at January 12, 2004 09:19 PM
  5. Joe Bork's Knowledge Gaps
    Excerpt: Joe Bork details his knowledge gaps, that is, things people ask him about when they discover he works at Microsoft which he won't talk about, can't talk about, doesn't want to talk about, or never heard of!
     Trackback from: Anita's LOL at January 14, 2004 10:52 AM
  6. On helping customers, or the questions we get
    Excerpt: Joe Bork posted a hilarious list of real and made up questions that people ask him when they learn he works for Microsoft .
     Trackback from: Jarrett House North at January 15, 2004 09:56 AM
  7. Don't ask me.. I just work here!
    Excerpt:
    Trackback from: Adam's Mindspace at January 15, 2004 03:46 PM

  8. I feel terrible now! I ask many of the same sort of questions to any one vagely related to microsoft (other beta testers / employees for partners of microsoft etc. !

    Comment by: William Dowell at January 16, 2004 04:20 AM

  9. William: You shouldn't feel terrible; my list was intended to be humorous. I really don't mind people asking me questions about Microsoft products, but I (unfortunately) am not an expert in all -- or even most -- of them, so there are a lot of questions I just don't know the answer to. But I like working for Microsoft, and I like to talk about what I do (a fact to which any of my friends can attest). So please, ask away!

    Comment by: Joe Bork at January 16, 2004 04:24 AM

  10. So, how about that Halo 2?

    Comment by: Smelly at January 16, 2004 09:50 AM
TrackBack URL for the entry 'Knowledge gaps' from Incessant Ramblings is:
http://www.headblender.com/cgi-sys/cgiwrap/hblender/mt-tb.cgi/974
Post a comment